The TikTocker:

Shadow Thought: “The appearance of I am keeps you from seeing my insecurity in who I am.”

Fictional Character Type 3 Examples: Gilderoy Lockhart, Daisy Wick, Tom Haverford, and Joshua Lyman.

While there are exceptions, you’ll see there are at least two examples of unhealthy Type 3s here in our examples. The most obvious one being Gilderoy Lockhart from the Harry Potter franchise. Not only does he lie about who he is to seem more accomplished, but he tries to wipe Harry and Ron’s memory just to keep the truth from getting out. His motivation is to continue looking like a well-accomplished wizard and his behavior is driven by it. This is a perfect example of how motivations, selfish or otherwise, drive how we behave. He’s a caricature, sure, but if you’ve read or seen the film, there’s a better-than-fair chance you know someone who reminded you of Lockhart. This is the unhealthiest version of a three bordering on narcissism to those looking from the outside in. Your image can actually work against you. Appearing put together allows others to infer the image is merely superficial.

We don’t often understand people’s perceptions of us can ruin relationships as quickly as our behaviors can. Enneagram coaching can help!

*Links to the Enneagram Institute’s description of Type 3.